Anger and Disobedience

So here's a tough post which for me sums up the walk of 2008. Since October this year, I've asked God clearly how he would wish me to see things as we approach 2009. Through at least 3 people and/or situations, He told us (Ellie and I)to look at Jonah.

Jonah?

But wasn't he the spoilt, disobedient brat with an anger problem, who was trying to second-guess God?

Yeah.

Ok, so this was always going to be a little too "honest" and close to the knuckle for me, but it will shape a future if it's God speaking.

I've spent a lot of time in 2009 feeling a dejected, angry and confused. I was really hoping for some things to move on, but apparently they didn't. What I failed to see however, was that I hadn't obeyed God on a key area of my own life, whilst I was busy telling Him how to deal with the "Ninevah's" I saw all around me.

"One day long ago, God's Word came to Jonah, Amittai's son: "Up on your feet and on your way to the big city of Nineveh! Preach to them. They're in a bad way and I can't ignore it any longer." But Jonah got up and went the other direction to Tarshish, running away from God. He went down to the port of Joppa and found a ship headed for Tarshish. He paid the fare and went on board, joining those going to Tarshish—as far away from God as he could get."

But God doesn't need to me to tell Him about those other things. He needs me to respond to His calls and direction on my life.

God said, "What do you have to be angry about?"

So really, I got angry due to my own disobedience and lack of covenant-keeping with God.

But as we enter 2009, my prayer is changing. I wish to remember God. I have now decided to forget resolutions, and make a covenant of obedience in one key area of my life. I'm calling out rom the belly of the whale!

"When my life was slipping away,
I remembered God,
And my prayer got through to you,
made it all the way to your Holy Temple.
Those who worship hollow gods, god-frauds,
walk away from their only true love.
But I'm worshiping you, God,
calling out in thanksgiving!
And I'll do what I promised I'd do!
Salvation belongs to God!"

Ellie and I are studying this book (Jonah) at the mo, and I'll post more as it pops up. But the key question for me remains.

"When we get angry at God, is it always because of what He has done / not done? Or are we sometimes ignoring our own responsibilities?"

Intervention

This year, Christmas has struck me in a particular way. I've followed advent and the singing of traditional advent carols in a more thoughtful way this time around. A few really hit home for me. Particularly "O Come O Come Immanuel". Is it just me or is this carol a really depressing one?

O come, O come, Emmanuel,
And ransom captive Israel,
That mourns in lonely exile here
Until the Son of God appear.

Rejoice! Rejoice!
Emmanuel shall come to thee, O Israel.

The first verse seems to capture the mood of the carol. Israel was captive to Rome, a nation in exile, with prophetic promises unfulfilled, and an impatient waiting for the Saviour of the world to appear. There is a desperation in the words here. Mourning, captivity, "o come" - a plea to God.

O come, Thou Day-spring, come and cheer
Our spirits by Thine advent here;
Disperse the gloomy clouds of night,
And death’s dark shadows put to flight.

Death's dark shadows, un-cheered spirits, gloomy clouds of night. Israel was not in a good state. They were a good generation away from the last prophecies, and hope must have been in short supply. But they held on to a vague belief that God incarnate was on His way to save them. Ok they had more of an idea of political and war-mongering type revolution (which wasn't quite what Jesus did, he sort of trancended all of that), but they were watching and waiting in hope.

O come, Thou Key of David, come,
And open wide our heavenly home;
Make safe the way that leads on high,
And close the path to misery.

Thinking further, one can see here that the people were in a woeful, miserable, unfulfilled sate of longing. How many of us have been in that place? Unfulfilled hopes, waiting on prophecy to be brought to completion, sitting in misery, looking to God (and sometimes everywhere else we can find..!), mourning, exile, an un-peace-able-ness-until-God-sorts-it-out.

Rejoice! Rejoice!
Emmanuel shall come to thee, O Israel.

The carol tells the Israel of history to wait, as God is coming. But we are singing back to the Israel of the past. The tense has changed. God has come. He did not stand by and watch his people in misery, destroying themselves, and being destroyed. He intervened. He came Himself, in flesh and blood, and encountered the human race first hand. He does not let His people go.

So as I read this carol I think with hindsight that we can "rejoice". We know God incarnate came through Jesus. He rescued His people in a way that went beyond what they dreamed or hoped. His revolution continues today in our hearts.

So this Christmas, as many struggle through times of difficulty, , at times feeling exiled from God's will, we have a hope that is celebrated in Christmas.

God comes.
God intervenes.
He doesn't just "stand there".

We invite His advent this Christmas for all those who are losing hope in their circumstances. There is a hope. There is a future in Jesus. Happy Christmas.

An Honest Prayer

I'm praying for you,
But not really for you
Because the things I ask God for
Are actually going to make my life easier.

If I really asked God what you need,
Would I say the same prayer?
If I really asked God what He wants,
Would the words trip so quickly from my mouth?

When you're so close that things affect me,
It's hard to know when care turns to self.
To know when I've stopped praying for you
And started praying for me.

So I'll try to be honest with you God,
And let my prayers be true.
I'll admit that I'm praying for myself,
Instead of praying for you.

Sometimes you just make the wrong decision

....and I decided to go to Belfast the weekend this happened in Gent...

Why, oh why?

South Africa Vid from August

Here's a short clip of our trip to Grabouw in August to help in the township etc...:

Blatently linking to someone else's blog...

I've been posting on David Gate's blog recently, and found lots of really good thoughts and critique on the worship "industry" and environment in which we find ourselves. His recent posts on Worship Cliches really hit the spot. Check them out.

Worship is a lifestyle

Theology from songs

Worship music in the charts

Why are some people so darned insightful

I used to listen loads to a guy called Henry Rollins. He never minced his words. One of his old tracks - Low Self Opinion, really struck me afresh recently, as an epidemic in our society, church, workplaces and families.

A great refrain of encouragement at the end.



I think you got a low self opinion man
I see you standing all by yourself
Unable to express the pain of your distress
You withdraw deeper inside
You alienate yourself
And everybody else
They wonder what`s on your mind
They got so tired of you
And your self ridicule
They wrote you off and left you behind



You sleep alone at night
You never wonder why
All this bitterness wells up inside you
You always victimize
So you can criticize yourself and all those around you


The hatred you project
Does nothing to protect you
You leave yourself so exposed
You want to open up
When someone says "Lighten up"
You find all your doors closed
Get yourself a break from self rejection
Try some introspection and you just might find
It`s not so bad and anyway at the end of the day
All you have is yourself and your mind


The self hatred that blinds you
Binds you
grinds you
keeps you down
The world falls down around you
You build up walls around you
You wear disgust like a crown



If you could see the you that I see
When I see you seeing me
You`d see yourself so differently
Believe me
I know the self doubt that runs inside your mind
I know the self that treats you so unkind

If you could see the you that I see
When I see you
You would see things differently
I assure you